"I Must Have Met Your Sister"

Yup, I've heard that. More than once. More than twice. I'd guess at least a dozen times over the last year.

Please understand my two sisters literally live in another country.

So, what they are really saying is, "I thought I met you but you weren't fat".

The funny thing is, before I started taking steroids and my thyroid went from hyper to hypo, people would pick on me for being too thin.

You really can't win. It seems a woman's body can always be improved upon. And it's every asshole's right to tell you how.

If anything, I found people were much more likely to tell me to my face what I needed to do to gain weight. When it comes to being overweight, people prefer to talk behind my back. I had someone tell me today that a few people have asked her why I "gained so much weight?"

You know, for the same reason everyone else does:

for FUN!

*Please note sarcasm*

Part of me wants to be catty and say things like - you've always been fat, what's your excuse?

Or, you had a kid 3 years ago and still look like you're in your second trimester.

Or, I can lose weight, you can't lose ugly.

Or, I'd rather have a little chub stuck to me than that loser you call your husband.

Mostly, I want to say things like that because that's what would happen on a TV show and I take all my cues on behavior from network sitcoms.

But really, I try not to give a f*uck.

Some of the best advice I have ever received is from the book The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the agreements is to not take anything personally.

It sounds simple on the surface but it's not. You see, it doesn't say "don't take anything negative others say about you personally". It says not to take ANYTHING personally. Which means compliments too.

I'll let you google the rest because he clearly can explain the entire concept than me. But when you stop basing your self-worth on what others say - good or bad - but find your own internal standard, it becomes pretty easy to not care what other people say.

So when someone says they think they must have met my sister, I smile, and I say, "Nope, that was me. I just look a little different now".

And then I call them names silently in my head. I never said I was perfect. 

Love,

an Addison alien